What is love?

Demanding security in a relationship is bound to foster anxiety and fear; Seeking safety is also inviting insecurity. Most of us want a secure relationship to love and be loved, but is that really love, if each of us is only looking for our own security? There is no love in us, because we do not know how to love.

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So what is love?

It seems that everyone, from newspaper reporters to missionaries, is constantly talking about love, reverence, and love. I love my hometown, engrossed in the book, moved by the beauty of the mountains, enjoyed the pleasures, infatuated with my wife, etc. Is love a concept? Because if so, it can be cultivated, promoted, modified in whatever direction you like.

Devotion to God means that you enjoy projecting your own thoughts, accompanied by an air of reverence that you think is noble and sacred. So, “I honor God” is a complete nonsense statement. When you worship God, you are worshiping yourself – that is not love.

Unable to deal with this so-called love, we flee into the abstract, ambiguous world. Love can be the ultimate solution to all human troubles, problems and hardships, so how do we discover love? By definition alone, there are enough ways to describe it, even misleading and distorted.

Falling in love with someone, sleeping with someone, exchanging feelings, intimacy, etc. – is this how we usually define love – are things so personal and limited that religions have claims that love is something much broader than that. In that person’s so-called love, they see all pleasure, competition, jealousy, desire to possess, hold, control and interfere in other people’s thoughts; they assert that true love is different, it is extremely sacred, noble, chaste and pure.


All over the world, “religious” people still say that the greatest sin is looking at women, that you cannot approach God if you are infatuated with sex, so they put that aside. By rejecting lust, they also deny all earthly beauty. They make their hearts and minds hard when they reject beauty just because it is associated with female beauty.

Can we divide love into spiritual and worldly parts, or is it pure love only? Is love for only one person, if you say love someone, does that at the same time exclude love for others? Is love personal or universal, moral or corrupt, kinship or community?

If you loved all of humanity, would you still love a particular individual? Love is an emotion? Vibration? Pleasure and lust? All these questions show that we still carry within us the idea of ​​love, of what should or should not be done, which is a pattern shaped by culture and society.

So, to get into the question of love, the first thing is to stop clinging to ideals and ideas about what should be and shouldn’t be, which is the trickiest way to solve problems. reality in life.

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Now, how can we discover the fire of love – not to interpret it, but to see its great significance? First, I reject everything that society, parents, friends and books say about love, because I want to find out for myself. This is a great human problem, it concerns the whole. Humanity, there are thousands of definitions of love and I myself am stuck in a certain pattern, or influenced by personal preferences at that time.

So, to understand it, I must first get rid of my biases, so as not to be confused and torn under all kinds of influences. Perhaps we will discover love through what is not love.

The government calls to join the army and fight for patriotism, is that love? Religion teaches that we must reject sex out of reverence for God, is that love? Is love a desire? For most of us, love is a desire associated with pleasure, pleasure through emotions, senses, attachment and sexual response.

I’m not against sex, but what sex gives you is a moment of total freedom, of freedom; After that, you return to your turmoil and turmoil. So you want this wonderful state to last forever – then you completely forget about your ego and all your troubles and challenges.

You say you love your wife. That love requires sexual pleasure, the satisfaction of having someone at home cook you meals, take care of your children. As such, you depend on her. She gives you body, emotions, encouragement, safety and happiness. Suddenly, she turns a blind eye, she leaves you with someone else, this destroys your emotional balance, which is jealousy accompanied by pain, anxiety, hatred. and even violence.

So the truth is that as long as they belong to me, I can rely on them to get my needs met, then I love them; but if they are no longer mine, they stop responding to my needs, I start to hate them. Hence, there is antagonism, division in you; When you feel your separation from another person or thing, that is not love.

But if you can live with your spouse without having conflicting thoughts and endless arguments in your mind, perhaps you will know what love is, then you are completely free. do and the person you love too. Conversely, if you depend on the other for your pleasures, you can only enslave them. So in love there must be freedom, both for the other person and for yourself.

In being dependent and seeking spiritual support from others, there is always anxiety, fear, jealousy, and guilt. Fear cannot be present with love; A mind that is troubled, sentimental, sentimental, or full of desires for pleasure, will never know love.

Since thought is the past, it cannot foster and cultivate love. Similarly, past jealousy cannot besiege, imprison love that is always present in reality, so that no one can say “I will love” or “I have loved”. If you understand love, you will also not pursue any object – love is not obedience, obedience, in love there is no reverence or contempt.

What does it mean to love someone? You love without being jealous, angry, comparing, criticizing, or interfering with people’s behavior or thoughts. When you love someone with your whole heart, mind, body, and whole being, what room is there for comparison or any other love?

In love there are responsibilities and obligations, is it appropriate to use such words? When you do something out of obligation, there is no love in it. All the things a person is obligated to do is destructive to who they are. If you’re forced to do something because it’s a responsibility, how can you love what you’re doing? Love never asks for responsibility or obligation.

Unfortunately, most parents think that they have a responsibility to their children and show it in teaching their children what to do and what not to do, drawing a model they should follow. or dodge. Parents want their children to have a strong position, respect in society; that’s what they aspire to achieve.

It seems to me that where respect is too much of a place, there is no order – everyone is only interested in how to become powerful, luxurious gentlemen and ladies. As they prepare their children to integrate into society, they are breeding the seeds of rivalry, conflict, and brutality that pervade the Earth. Is that care and love?

Real care and care is the same as when you take care of plants; You water it, learn its nutritional needs, its habitat, choose the most suitable soil for it, cherish and prune it with tenderness and tenderness. But when you’re getting your kids ready for society, it’s as if you’re preparing them for the arena. If you love your children, you will not let them participate in any competition or competition.

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When your loved one dies, you mourn; Are these tears, lamentations for yourself or for the deceased? Have you ever cried for someone else? Do you cry, in mourning for the person lying down, or in mourning for yourself? Your tears mean nothing if you are only preoccupied with yourself. And if you cry because you’ve lost someone you love with all your heart, that’s not true love.


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